Discharge Date

Sophia is going to be discharged from the hospital tomorrow. We aren't leaving Seattle until Tuesday, to get cheaper tickets, but I am happy to be finally going home. (Although this weather is SO much better then what is happening in AK) This is sort of a catch 22 for me. Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to be leaving the hospital and going home, but on the other hand, my baby girl was very sick and I didn't know it. This has always been the fear for me with Sophia's heart condition. It's not a bruise or a injury on her skin. It's her heart. It's inside of her and I can't see it. I can't see when it is healthy and I can't see when it is sick. As a mother, this terrifies me. I know this baby girl. I know her personality, I know her smell, I know the way she feels in my arms; but I will never know when her heart is sick until it's really sick. How do I do that? How do I go through a day loving this baby and in the back of my mind wondering if she is sick or when she will be sick. I know that I have to put faith in God and I will continue to. He is the only person that can help her and He has protected her so well.